Anti-Coco. He made it all the way to the Christo with me… and I had to leave him. If only you knew how much I miss you dear Anti-Coco <3

Dear ignorance I hate you so much. Ignorance is bliss. How ignorant can you be to not respect another person’s sexual orientation. Is this not America the land of liberty? Why are we still stuck in the times of bigotry harrasment of those who are different and intolerance. Human kind has progressed from intolerance of race to intolerance of sexual orientation. Will there be another civil rights movement? What is this world coming to?

I can’t say I’m tolerant. I’m intolerant to people who are ignorant and the world revolves aroun them. Consuming less is not going to give goods to the Children of Loma pampa but there is no reason to over consume. I don’t need a juicy couture bag. If you get things on a silver platter fuck you I hope u enjoy it and think about how much ur family scarificed to give u somethig u didn’t earn. An you prob wil never appreciate it either. This is why I don’t want to have children I don’t wan them to grow up in a world with such douchey and intolerant people. As knowledge is growing people are getting dumber.

unable to sleep soundly last night.. i wondered what could have been the reason of my discomfort. Usually I fall asleep right away or after 5 minutes after closing my eyes. But this night was different. My sheets felt harsh against my skin, my pillow not soft enough my heart was pacing. And i closed my eyes and breathed,  in out in out. Finally I stopped and tried to concentrate on what really was upsetting me. Yes i was stressed my physics book hasn’t arrived..i’m behind on some work now. But something else is bothering me…probably all that Activia yogurrt i had been eating, but i can’t complain about that now.. i remember when i was dying for fiber in Bolivia. And that is when it hit me like a brick to my face. I got the wind knocked out of me temporarily. It was like reliving a nightmare that i couldn’t wake up from. All i saw were the children and their faces. How dirty they were. No one understands here. At a family party at my boy friend’s house his family asked well how was Bolivia? Well what did you do? and i really had a hard time even wanting to answer it. I love my boyfriend so much, he could sense how i was feeling before the question was even done being asked. He answered for me while i gave brief summaries he filled more details in.. the details that i still have a hard time saying. 

sean: there was no water, at some places no electricity and definitely no toilets. 

grandma: well why were the people so poor? what did they do?

me: well they don’t have much of an economy to work in. They sell things at the market place, their children work and thats all they can really do

grandma: well why doesn’t someone help them? why doesn’t the government?

sean: the government doesn’t care about these people. A little kid died that lauren worked with and it wasn’t a big deal..it wasn’t even announced.

telling bismar’s story over and over again, i have become cold to it. I still am angry. I don’t really know how i should deal with something so cruel as this. I think it’s because i am the type of person that needs an ending.. and Bismar’s case, his suffering never ended. He will never have justice, his father will always be a drunk and his mother always suffer, his brother always guilty, his small brother who resembles him eerily will always cry and no one will respond, his baby brother always  wet because no one will change his diaper and his down-syndrome sister forever neglected. Yes Bismar is done as an individual suffering, but his family.. will forever suffer. And i have never felt so sad. Is it wrong to say that death is the only way out of such a cursed life? is it better that he is dead so that his father can’t beat him and his mother doesn’t have to worry about feeding another child.

i never see Bolivia in my dreams..it is forever in my nightmares and i cannot escape. I will always be changed and I feel it. I will never take my mother for granted and when ever i get the chance i will tell her I love her more than everything because she has sacrificed for me. I love all my family for supporting me throughout my journey and always believing in me. I love my boy friend Sean, who has held my hand and listened and been there for me through everything. 

I feel like i am fighting for a losing battle. Nothing I can do will ultimately save the world. Nothing will save Bolivia, i cannot do anything to save any of those children. This is the life that they were chose to led..and i just hope they know happiness..not the same as we do..bbut happiness is so different there. so simple.

Abby was happy to see me try to salsa and meringue with her as she laughed so hard she could barely even dance.  The little boys who came to my art class were excited to use my camera and to be in pictures with me making all sorts of faces. Even the trouble makers had a smile on their faces when i would say “Buen Dia” and they would respond “No No Buenas Noches” and i would respond “si si buenas noches” playing along with their game. The popcorn bags we gave out and even just bread would make children so excited. 

i smile thinking of my children of Loma Pampa. Who knows maybe i’ll adopt a kid out of that orphanage that they worked in this summer. That is the only way I will feel that someone is being saved.

i have to reflect and think. Is this a selfish wish of mine? To be a hero? to save a little piece of the world? 

my mother always told me from a young age “lauren stop trying to save the world”. I looked at her with tears and I said i wanted to make that difference in someones life, to change their life for the better. I now understand why she said that to me, it wasn’t to discourage me; it was to protect me from the reality of it all. It’s true I can’t save the world and in my heart I know i was put on this earth to do something extraordinary to help people. It is the only thing I am passionate about.. don’t get me wrong..i love science and all. But this is what feels right to me… i mean it took me all the way to the southern hemisphere.. when i could have been dipping my toes in the Atlantic Ocean on the jersey shore, I was in Loma Pampa. And i would never trade it for anything. 

it is a nightmare that i live with. The nightmare of reality. I was naive, as is everyone until they see with their own eyes. After watching all that national geographic, where they explain all the different aspects of culture and society, you never truly understand until you are there. 

i now ask this question.. Is it better to be naive about the world and it’s poor, to not see the ends of the world where there are human beings just like yourself living in conditions you never could imagine? or is the truth what you need?

I guess I would say that I am mature for my age, I always have been told so since I was younger, and this truth made me feel old. It made me come home and feel like alot of the answers i had been searching for had been answered. There was no bright light.. and the Christo did not descend upon me in my sleep and whisper my fate into my ears, but slowly as i begin to set my future up..it now starts to make sense.

Bolivia. I still have the map of cochabamba hanging on a wall in my room. It is a constant reminder to me as where I have been (duh). Well i mean emotionally too! On that map it shows all the locations i have been, Loma Pampa (not listed on the map but i know where it is), the Christo, La Cancha and my classes. I survived and found my way around in a town that i wasn’t even remotely familiar with. I guess it is my motivation.. I can do anything that I set my mind to. I made it to Bolivia right! And I made it out! (only getting sick 1 time!). 

I guess because I stored this in the back of my brain for months and neglecting my journal for the same amount of time that everything comes out now. I had been avoiding my journal because I didn’t want to write anymore, I didn’t want to reflect or relive many things (such as the beginning of my entry) but everything needs to be reflected over.

I guess I made up for my slacking and I feel much better..I forgot how great it feels after getting everything out there..in cyber space haha

okay so I slacked a little bit (more like 2 weeks).

Okay here goes a couple days:

July 27^th

Bismar’s mom approached me today holding her side in pain. She walked over to La Cede and it took her about 10 minutes to shuffle over with her hands holding her bandages from her new surgery. I grabbed her hand and shook it and came closer to her to kiss her cheeks. I asked her if she was in pain and what was going on. I learned from our broken Spanish/Quecha conversation that she had a surgery on something (I think gallbladder) and they only gave her medicine for her stomach. They gave a woman who had an open surgery wound medicine for her stomach ache.. and not antibiotics. The Cuban doctors apparently give these people free service but crappy medicine.  What is this world coming to?

July 30^th

Tonight we went to Pimiento, a great club in Bolivia. I finally felt like I was back at home again because they played all techno music! It made me miss the US so much. It reminded me of when I was younger and I used to go out to clubs with my friends. I encountered the youth of Bolivia… and it made me grateful to have a wonderful AMERICAN boyfriend. The Bolivian boys have not been rubbing me the right way… they are quite rude and believe that whistling is the right way to attract attention

August 8^th

The despidida in Loma Pampa was really fun today. There were a lot of activities for the kids and socialization for the adults. We performed our Salsa and Bachata dances coordinated by Jovanna. We also did a Clean Loma Pampa campaign where we had contests of who could clean up the most garbage in 15 minutes. There were around 11 bags of recyclable garbage and 11 bags of pure garbage. In 15 minutes… and it looked like we didn’t make a dent. We had our lunch at Don Miguel’s house and I was happy to have vegetables. We finally left and I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. I went last minute Cancha shopping and we met up later at Casablanca for some pizza and I packed and watched a bootleg version of Toy Story 3.

August 9^th - 10^th

Today I woke up early with the worst stomach ache ever.. the pizza from Casablanca finally did me in… I refuse to eat anything and I have been doing a liquid diet only. We flew out to Santa Cruz and took a taxi to the hostel that Evyn, Michele and Carolyn booked for the night. We relaxed a little and then immediately decided to go over and get some ice cream =]. Bad idea! Ice cream is not good for my stomach ugh! Then we sat in the plaza and toured the cathedral. We drudged back to the hostel tired and hungry for dinner. We relaxed with everyone else in our group, who had taken a bus the night before. The bus ride for them ended up being hell and I’m happy I paid the extra money for a plane ticket. We then got into the best taxi ever. He had a minivan and subwoofers that took up his whole trunk. He blasted Daddy Yankee and other reggaeton artists like  Don Omar and he looked like Big Pun. He was awesome haha. We got the to the restaurant and it was a big open restaurant with many many tables and tons of waiters (only males) taking orders in their outfits. I only had chicken soup but it was really good. Natasha and I headed out to the airport just in time because the line for AA was crazy!! We apparently were standing behind some Bolivian John Mayer or something… because everyone kept coming up to him and taking pictures and asking for autographs. Our flight was delayed an hour so we boarded at 1.30 =[. Natasha and I fell asleep multiple times in the airport and before our flight I had my last mate forever =[. I took an antibiotic before boarding so that the 7 hr flight would not be uncomfortable for my stomach. Natasha and I got to sat next to each other and we slept for 6 hours of the trip..i don’t think I ever slept so sound sitting upright. As soon as we got out of the plane we ran through security and bag check and got to the nearest ABP stand and devoured chicken Caesar salads. I don’t think lettuce ever tasted so good! We didn’t get to sit next to each other for the Newark flight but that was fine. We went to pick up bags said good bye…I got lost for like 15 minutes and then found the parking lot sean was in. I don’t think we have been happier to hug each other ever. It was nice just to have him waiting there for me. 

After Bolivia.. As soon as i got home i did not want to talk about Bolivia to anyone.. no one could possibly understand what i had seen, smelled or felt. jacob was right though about what he said in reflections that life would go back to how it was when we got back… nothing would change in our lives. At first i didn’t want to believe it..but he was right.. As soon as i got home i drove my car.. i went shopping went to Dunkin donuts and it felt all the same.. it felt like bolivia was just a dream i had one night… thats how it still is. I still think about the children and the people i encountered in Bolivia. When asked if i will ever return to bolivia i say no..i’m afraid to return to something that only gets worse as time goes on..what about Bismar’s family.. i don’t even wnt to pick my brain about it.. it’s something i wanted to escape from..

=[

i suck at this online journal thing..actually i don’t Bolivia sucks for not having internet in the houses..and the internet cafes being so slow.. 

July 19th

Class… Slept over Michele’s house..Read and did a little work..passed out with book on face.. everytime i start doin any work it will be the first time i layed in bed all day and i automatically fall asleep… mehhh =[ thats why i have not written in my journal (online one)

BORING haha

july 20th

No Loma Pampa this week.. we relaxed. I traveled by truffi back and forth all over the place. Went to Banana Lounge with CJ, Michele, Caleb, Naju and Richard. Good music, strong drinks fun times. The only thing that was really disheartening was that this little boy came in and sat next to me on a chair and put a flower in my face. I politely said no…but he didn’t really understand what i was saying he seemed either high or there was something wrong with him. He wouldn’t leave after like 5 minutes and i felt bad. the owner came over and shooed him out.. i was really upset about it and it reminded me that i had seen alot but there is much worse than what i have gone through and seen here… which really sucks

july 21st

Michele, Evyn and I went to La Cancha to pick up a few things for Toro Toro, like head lamps..we decided to reuse them for gold digger halloween costumes.. we are too crafty hahah. We then went to the grocery store for some snacks (a kilo of animal crackers was sufficient). Then we had reflections later that night and went out to my favorite restaurant KAHBOOB !!! The best food evaaa! Then after we went to Cafe Modena and i had the world famous chocolate cake… yummy!!  Then with a full stomach i went home to back my things up for Toro Toro.. it was a process not knowing what exactly to bring with me.. so i brought everything..

july 22nd

i was surprised the bus ride into Toro Toro did not kill us…I basically went off roading in a bus.. word to that. The road was either stone or just dirt… not much room (the bus took up the whole road so it was fun figuring out how to let other trucks or cars by) and no guard rails that was very fun! It was a 5 hour trip.. which also was interrupted by desert side of the road bathroom break.. that’s always fun. We finally arrived at toro toro and unpacked our stuff into the hostel.. when we realized 75% of the rooms do not lock..fun! so then we went to eat a late lunch at Pachamama Wasi (quecha for mother earth’s house). The food was… well i didn’t get sick so i won’t complain. But the food was cold a good majority of the time..they had a set menu and i ate things really fast so i wouldn’t have to taste it. There were a few times that it was good but not enough that i would go their voluntarily. Then we went with spider monkey man to see the dinosaur footprints of Toro Toro.. he knew everything.. he was a genius. Then we went back to my fav restaurant for dinner. After we had a “frat party” in the boys room.. deep conversations about .. everything.. usually only about food, birth control and copulation. The usual… then we carried our party onto the street and Richarrrr played his charango.

july 23rd

Rise and Shine.. nice and early.. yuck! We had breakfast and then went for a hike (an adventure) to the canyon.. like a bamillion steps and Spider monkey man (Don Mario) walked without breaking a sweat..he was dressed in loafers, khakis, a button down shirt and his llama sweater… im all the way in the back huffing and puffing with Evyn. That guy showed me up big time. We climbed from rock to rock and tooo many steps and finally got to the water fall.. awesome. We swam in the water falls and then hiked back up all the god damned steps… and then we went for lunch.. had a 10 minute break and off to the caves!! We got orange helmets with pads in them and i put my head lamp on. I felt like a creepy crawly insect crawling on all fours, turinging side ways going down backward.. i fit in spaces not meant for people haha. After we walked back in the dark and the sky was lit up by the stars it was a great ride back.. we were so hungry.. we went back to our fav restaurant.. we were supposed to have another frat party but instead we sat and watched the people of Toro Toro attempt to put a t-rex in the square.. people were fighting which way to fit it in..so it ended up going back and forth for 4 hrs.. only to be left on the truck.. that is when we made the term T.I.B. This is bolivia… for example.. people fighting over which way to put a trex in the square..someone would say that ridiculous.. and the response would be.. TIB man TIB

july 24th

the second cave was today.. i oppted to sleep after i woke up stiff and sore.. i woke up at 7.30 for breakfast and then went back to the room to read and stuff then we went for lunch again at pachamama wasi and packed up the bus.. The bus driver was drunk/insane and yelling at me in quecha because we were late..i tried explaining to him it wasn’t our fault but he was like insane.. then he drove like a mad man and he started packing up so that the tire of the back of the bus was almost off the edge of the road.. multiple times.. if i can live through that.. i can live through anything jesus. we got back and i was so exhausted i ate yogurt and fruit and went to bed

july 25th

the feria was today. There were exhibitions of the artwork (table clothes) the women were working on from alto cochabamba and Loma Pampa. I went to the truck for food — french fries and a coke. After we hung around and left. Jovanna, Ayesha and Michele fell in love with puppies..which they are taking back to states.. they are crazyyy! after Evyn, Michele, Caleb, Jovanna and I went to Globos for the worst service ever.. TIB

july 26th

Michele got her puppy today.. he is so tiny. She named him sesame but i call him peanut because he is like a little peanut.. i love him.. he is like my little child. He eats formula 4 times a day and im helping michele raise it since i have puppy 101 knowledge from dawson..the spaun of satan dog haha (just kidding i love dawson). We went out for Rosalba’s birthday dinner at Rodeos.. 15 boliviano ( 2 dollar ) steak… yummy

july 27th

We went to loma pampa and no one showed up for class other than ariel bismars brother =[ we visited Prima and i set up a time for my interview. After all that we all went to language class and then met up at Casa Blanca for jazz night. I ate wayy to much

I missed a lot of days but it has been a crazy few days this week.

Tuesday July 13th

Upon arrival to la cede in Loma Pampa Bismar’s mother waited for us. I knew things something was wrong.. as soon as we got off the bus she collapsed in our arms crying that her son had been killed. I stood back in shock.. no.. it was a lie..i had just seen Bismar on Sunday and told him to make sure he came to class today.. no.. As i held his shaking mom i cried with her and we cried together. I sat at la cede for hours on the front steps (getting a sun burn in the process) running over the last times i had seen Bismar, how i could have saved him if I just had bought him out of his ice cream so he didn’t have to sell that day.. why was i so selfish.. I couldn’t escape the toughts of him , seeing that he lives across from the cede. The children from my class came up to me and pet my hair and hugged me telling me they had cried last night. They asked when i was going to see Bismar.. I had to see him.. i couldn’t i wasn’t ready. I told them i was waiting for the rest of my group to arrive so we could all go together. Then a sheep came up to me, this sheep always hangs out around the gate of a house down hill from the cede. This sheep never moves from that gate and today it came all the way up the cede looked at me as i cried and baaed at me… and baaed and baaed until i yelled at it and pet its little head..then it went back to its gate. After that natasha arrived and we went to the wake… As i walked towards the doorway of the one room house where his coffin lay i lost my breath my throat got dry my eyes swelled with tears… it couldn’t be real. I walked in and turned cold..little Bismar was in that little white coffin.. I couldn’t do this..i walked to his mother kissed her two cheeks and handed her rice and hugged her. I walked over to his coffin and kept my head down and prayed and cried for him. Natasha, Jovana, Michele, Abby, Melina and I all held hands while Jovana led a prayer for Bismar. After I felt like i couldn’t cry any more… we decided to walk to the top of Loma Pampa…hence all the pics on my facebook. It was the worst hike ever..but worth it. We got to the top and just had a great conversation and it made me feel a lot better. We walked back down for lunch and cookies and we went back to the wake again when the rest of the students came.. i stayed on the other side of the room avoiding the grief of seeing the face in the coffin again. After we sat in silence in the cede and Pamela calls on me to comment on what happened how i was feeling..she must have sensed i was going to explode with emotion… I burst into tears and I could barely speak..in front of 13 of my peers.. Pamela and my professor..i couldn’t breath all i could do was look at the ground and sob and get in a few words about how life in bolivia wasn’t fair and how this is real life for so many children and it didn’t make sense to me for such a young kid to be taken so easily.. After we went to the funeral..it was not the precession i was hoping for.. i was standing on someone else’s grave..kids were peeing in the cementary there was laughter and loudness… no one was wearing black..a man was selling ice cream.. i looked around.. it seemed the Pro Justicia members and my group where the only ones crying and at the front in front of the grave.. People were offering coca and chicha to the dead bismar.. all while i drunk “priest” slurred worst of the “bible” from a pamphlet.. all the time bismar’s brother was with us. That was my culture shock..how lightly death was taken here.. how common..it made me sick.. after Bismar’s funeral i was exhausted but was in need of something to cheer me up .. Casa Blanca with the group was the solution ..they have great cappuccinos for only 7 bolivianos ($1).

Wed July 14th

The Christo statue that is always in my pictures..i finally climbed every step to it. it was over 1000 steps.. of agony haha But worth it in the end. Of few of my group members and I went up and were accompanied the whole time by a dog we dubbed Anti-CoCo (my neighbors dog coco walked us to the christo and anti-coco walked us there —anti coco had opposite colors as coco so he was dubbed anti coco). We walked around the Christo a while and tried to take AC (anti-coco) on the teleferico with us but he wasnt allowed… it was like a sad movie.. he waited on the edge and jumped 6 feet trying to run through the brush to catch us.. then we saw him start running down the stairs.. oh AC =[ I’m going back to find him! Goldstein made an interesting point about AC.. it was only 1 day after Bismar died.. and the dog went all the way to the Christo with us and we had to part ways.. we only knew him for a little while and then we had to leave him.. hmm interesting

Thursday July 15th

Paper mache  with the kids proved excellent..we had flowers, buckets, balls and hearts created. The kids loved it and got very dirty. That same sheep who had baaed at me at Bismar’s death came back to bother me and try to eat my projects.. get get get i said to the sheep… but just like Bismar did, he antagonized me coming back every 5 minutes to try to eat the paper mache… Bismar is still at my classes..in sheep form. 

Friday july 16th

Today was a scramble! We went from fundacion to discuss our projects for the big presentation of la cede next sunday to La Cancha. Last minute shopping and packing for Chapare! The bus ride was long (4.5 hrs) and as we got off the bus for the first time we realized we all had packed the wrong clothes… it was 40 degrees not an expected 80 with humidity… uh oh.. it was raining non stop and cold =[. We arrived at the hotel late, and had dinner. We all hung out until the wee hours of the night (2 am lol) and then we all (Carolyn, Evyn, Michele and I) grabbed a room and slept under the covers since there was no heat.. =[ meh. No hot water either.. oh well.

Saturday july 17th

Our Chapare trip was ruined by the rain..but that didn’t stop us! We went to la Jungla where we climbed up all sort of slippery rickety wood ladders and bridges..straight out of an indian jones movie haha. We did jumps (not really jumps its a platform that you are sitting on a wooden swing and fall and the swing catches you as you fall and you swing really far and high) from 4 Meters, 12 Meters and 18 meters.. We had criers, hyper ventalters, everyone was a screamer (including Guery) and then there was Guery and I who were laughing the whole time. We were standing together on the platform for the 18 Meter fall in the pouring rain laughing about how crazy it was that we were doing this and how cold it was..then i told him i wanted to go down on a bungee cord like a free fall or go sky diving. We were always the ones to jump up and down on the bridges and platforms like stupid people and die of laughter at everyone else lol. After we went to a restaurant…with no walls so that it was equally freezing.. yum haha. The food was good some sort of fish.. the bus ride back (5 hrs) was a lot of fun.. dancing, singing and laughing .. and CJ falling into a ravine mid pee on the side of the road.. sorry CJ it was hillarious hahaha especially because after Evyn got back on the bus and announced it and Rich and Chris ran out to “save” her and all the girls started screaming because they were  mid pee .. CJ came back fine just a little shook up from completely falling in the dark..mid pee… hilarious.

Sun July 18th

So we went to Loma Pampa and sanded/painted. I had an interview with Prima (a young woman of Loma Pampa) and her “husband” (they are living together on the terms of marriage but are not legally married). They were really nice people and i am planning on seeing Prima again on Tuesday morning. No kids showed up for my class today except for my Abi =[ so i did the mentos and diet coke explosion for her to satisfy her science craving of the day (i know everyone has those). She really loved it alot! I promised to try for bottle rockets for Tuesday morning. We left Loma Pampa and i went home cleaned up and went to Brazilian Coffee for some great Sushi and a milkshake with Jovana, Natasha and Carolyn. After (Now ) i am at Casa Blanca (again) with Michele and Evyn. Today i realized how much i hate being different than everyone in Cochabamba. I’m happy im different and im mad at the same time… the next person that glares, stares, whistles are yells at me is gonna get smacked … not kidding! It makes me so self conscience i dont know why but it’s irritating.. i’m a human being.. not an alien! But that’s what i feel like in Bolivia everywhere i go, Loma Pampa, Chapare, Cochabamba Santa Cruz… everyone looks at me like im soooo different. The people of Loma Pampa are probably the nicest about it haha.. They just ask where i’m from and that’s it .. no stares no glares.. just smiles, hugs, Buenos Dias, Adios. The city people are so rude!

Dear Bismar,

you finally escaped the barrio but not in the way i had wished for you. You sprouted wings and flew off into oblivion and i didn’t get to say bye. I had wished that you were going to come to class on tuesday morning so that we could teach you arts and crafts but instead of making origami stars, you were touching the stars. I wish the world wasn’t so cruel to you Bismar, but I hope where you do go that you are able to have clean clothes and running water. I hope that they have food for miles for that empty stomach of yours. Dear Bismar, it’s not fair that you’re gone but that’s how life is in Bolivia. At your funeral there was no silence like i had wished and the whole day i felt so lost..how is it possible such a little innocent being as yourself can be taken so easily? I just tell myself it was for the better, your suffering is now over Bismar.

Rest in Peace

today was only the 100th time i hit my head getting in/out of the truffi. They are made for short people , i’m convinced. The thing that pisses me off more than anything in bolivia is that people constantly stare… like do i have a third eye or something haha. There isn’t much diversity here so i understand but jesus it’s like people don’t glance they hard core stare..i walk past a restaurant and every single person sitting outside follows me with their eyes until i disappear.. annoying hahaha. it also could be because i belt my llama sweater haha i dont see anyone wearing those things except me lol ohh well!

casa Blanca’s internet is so in and out! mehhhh!

ATTENTION: MY FACE BOOK WILL BE PUBLIC WHILE IN BOLIVIA SO ANYONE/ EVERYONE CAN LOOK AT MY PICTURES. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A FACEBOOK MEMBER TO LOOK THROUGH MY PICTURES JUST SEARCH LAUREN GIANNETTI AND I SHOULD BE UNDER RUTGERS OR VERONA HIGH SCHOOL NET WORK.  

July 6th:

Michele and I went to La Cancha to bought 300 Bolivianos worth of artesian stuff! How fun! haah then we had language class =[ boring day. Will try to send stuff via UPS home.

July 7th:

Today I took an adventure by accident..i took a truffi to an OTB (a barrio). I needed to go to the Catholic University but I guess i took the truffi on the wrong side of the road so it had started at the university rather than going there. Opps! It was very similar to Loma Pampa but it had more buildings and the houses aren’t as small.. so i ended up at Fundacion Ipeno on time for Loma Pampa (Thank God). It was my first day working individuality with the kids. We got to do a picture contest about keeping the environment clean. Then Michele starting doing origami so everyone wanted stars and cisnes (cranes). Then after Loma Pampa Michele, Jovana, Melina and Rocia went in search of paper for origami and supplies for volcanos. We stopped and had empanadas at Cha Chas!! The one thing you learn in Bolivia is that when you say you’re hungry people respond right away and insist you eat immediately haha. The people here are really great especially the women and men of Pro Justicia. I love working with Melina and Etel, they are the nicest women ever and they are always asking how we are. So after I went back to my house to get ready to go out for Evyn’s birthday with Jovanna. Jovanna, my mom, her friend and I all sat down for tea and talked forever it was fun. Then we went to amadeus for Evyn’s birthday and we had a blast!

July 8th

Our second day at Loma Pampa was fun! before loma pampa Michele and I took the truffi to my moms sister’s house for lunch, then we walked to Fundacion ipeno for Loma Pampa. We orginally tried to teach the kids origami but it ended up being really hard so we made stars and then we did paper snow flakes. Then Jovanna did her dance class which was really fun! After we went to La Cancha to get some more supplies for the volcano experiment. After we went to michele’s house to practice our volcanos.. Michele ended up making a huge paper mache volcano for a model for the kids. Evyn and I ate at Michele’s house and this ended up being one of the best nights ever.. Why? Because I found the taxista of my dreams. Usually the taxi drivers near la cancha (where Michele lives) are like the worst! But this guy was really cheap and really nice.

July 9^th,

I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and my stomach hurt so so bad. This sucks =[ I took the truffi to Fundacion Ipeno (the right truffi) and we met up to discuss our human rights projects with Pro Justicia. I am doing my research on marriage in Bolivian, what are the laws, the standards, what rights do you have while being married etc. Then we got our Bolivia Pro Justicia t shirts and were off to do whatever. Michele and I caught the truffi back to my house where we had lunch with my mom and relaxed. We later left again to catch the truffi to go for some chocolate cake with Jacobo and go to reflections. Reflections were intensely emotional but I still enjoyed it. After we caught a cab back to Michele’s house so that she could shower and do some home work… I met the taxista  of my dreams again. He was from the same company and he was the greatest! He was cheap and he was very talkative.. I really like him a lot ! So he gave me his cell number so I could call him directly rather than the company so I used him for the rest of the night when Michele and I went out to Amedus again. It sucked because it was like legit karoke and a bunch of old people.. =[ no salsa.

July 10^th,

Woke up this morning with stomach pains again =[ meh! Relaxed a lot and did my map with Michele for our map assignment. Then we walked to Casa Blanca to use the internet and type of some of our stuff. Had pasta guacamole and fresh peach juice. This shoe shine kid came up to the window on the inside of the casa blanca and make a signal towards me.. and I couldn’t understand him.. finally he came over and said “Tengo hambre”. I told him I would give him what was left when I was done eating. So a few minutes later I basically gave him my whole plate of food, he thanked me and returned the plate when he was done. I don’t mind giving food because I know that they are getting fed but I don’t wanna give money because I don’t know what that is going to.. hmm.. he def knew I was an easy target! Haha After Michele came back to my house and we had soup because our stomachs were feeling weird and we were planning on going out but ended up not because we were sick =[. Michele, Evyn and I all bought matching white converse… Evyn just needs to get a llama back pack and we will all match ahaha.. we are so weird.

July 11^th

Today I have come to a conclusion… I am in Bolivia.

After volcanoes and chaos in Loma Pampa (All the kids loved making the volcanoes explode.) while waiting for my pizza in the pizza place a few blocks from my house I all of a sudden was overcome by a wave of anger and desperation. Two children walked in after their father. Their clothes crisp and new, their faces clean toys in hand. These were the first completely clean children I had seen all day.. and I was out raged… how dare they have such nice things when the children in Loma Pampa don’t even have running water. I wanted to go up to them and tell them that Bismar and Ismael had only a few outfits to wear, none of which were clean or new. I then turned away from them outraged… and it hit me.. I once was that little girl with the doll and the new clothes.. I never knew of the children of the barrio or dirty faces. I only had learned of the children of the barrio a few years ago, I had only met the children of Loma Pampa a week ago. But I felt like I had known them for such a long time. I immediately got angry when people had no idea about Loma Pampa.. Que es Loma Pampa? Donde esta? Many question my work in Loma Pampa, laughing at the fact that I was doing work with children of the barrio. I looked at a group of boys coming in, and I wondered if one day Ismael or Bismar would be able to enjoy clean clothes or the streets of the city or even a pizza place. As I walked down the street with my pizza back to my house I wondered how my life would be if I never went to Loma Pampa. As I got back and sat down at the table and looked out as the sun was setting I thought to myself.. what am I doing? I’m not changing anyone’s life..What the hell difference am I making. When I leave Bismar will be the same.. He will still have to work on Sundays selling ice cream even though he is only 6 (I believe). For the past couple days I sit in bed after my alarm and just wonder..what difference am I making? I go to my room then to get my notebook and a paper falls out of my backpack. It’s a note from one of the girls from Loma Pampa, Abi. She wrote me a note saying she loves me and she always wanted to be my friend since we met. Granted she wrote notes to a lot of the girls.. that didn’t matter to me.. that little piece of paper made me gasp for air as I tried to wipe away tears.. this is why I’m here. This is the difference that I’m making. And as I bring my laptop out the table and set up my work station I look out into the night.. and see two dogs mating in the street… I’m in Bolivia alright.

and im not sick anymore haha